if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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