I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
