first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
