He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Randomize
