i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
