matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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