i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
You work out of a Hotel?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
