so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
