Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
