"it" just moved
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Randomize
