real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
My bed smells like the plague
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
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