I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
