I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
