At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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