your room smells of hookers.
And success
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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