GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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