with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
