somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
