awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
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