TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
