How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
