I'm drive I can fine osifer
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Randomize
