you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize