Plan B is the new Plan A
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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