I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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