They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
