i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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