I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
