dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
