Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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