I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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