Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
It was confusing and full of hummus
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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