My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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