Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
he laminated a picture of his dick.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
