He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
