A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
