Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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