Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
