her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
