Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Randomize
