Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I met the friendliest cop last night
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Found your dick twin last night
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
