Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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