fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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