when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize