just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
