I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
