i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
