So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize