I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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