Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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