just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
