Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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