we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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