i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
i drank out of a bidet.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
