if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
