Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
