In the future we'll all be gay
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
They should really pass out barf bags in church
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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