Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
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