she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize