just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
