Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
So much Jack, so little girl.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
