Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
