I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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